Ever heard the story of the accomplished professional woman in her forties, who begins to feel a crisis of confidence in her job? The perimenopause could be to blame. I think it helps to know that these hormonal changes could be the reason – so that action can be taken by women to seek out help.
No suffering in silence please.
The perimenopause is the name for the time leading up to the menopause, when periods actually stop. It can last on average four years, but perimenopause can last as long as ten years – so a very significant section of a woman’s working life.
“Going through the perimenopause and menopause is not something that should define your career” menopause coach Emma Wee says. “It shouldn't be the end of the road. It is really important for people going through the menopause to feel supported. You still of course have a very good contribution to make to the workforce.”
Menopause is an acquired neurodiversity
There are four different areas of neurodiversity. There are the neurodifferences that you're born with - which are the applied and the clinical. And then there are transient acquired neurodiversities and chronic acquired neurodiversities, which are the things that happen to your brain later on in life.
Emma continues:
“Perimenopause and menopause are transient – they shift in and out of your life. But they can have a significant impact on your day-to-day functioning.
When I'm delivering menopause strategy coaching, I often talk to clients about what's going on in terms of their physical, intellectual and emotional reserves in terms of how much they've got available to them in the moment. Often because the acquired neurodiversities can also come with quite a lot of physical impact, that means it can pull up from the other kind of resources that you might have.
That's why someone might struggle with self-regulation or emotional resilience when they’re going through perimenopause, because there's so much more physical stuff going on that they have no control over a lot of time.”
What happens to hormones during perimenopause?
“Oestrogen is the main hormone that's involved” Emma Wee explains. Essentially the drops in oestrogen levels can have a significant impact on day-to-day functioning, and the reason why is its link to dopamine, which allows you to make decisions in the moment and manages your long-term memory and mood regulation as well.
Do discuss your physical and mental symptoms with your GP – they can assess your hormone levels and there’s a range of treatments available which can help.
Please don’t struggle on without getting medical advice and considering trying any medical treatments.
The point of reasonable adjustments for menopause
I believe we should be looking at inclusive systemic change that allows people to find what they need in the workplace so they can be at their fullest potential. Reasonable adjustments used to be typically seen as a way of actively getting people back to the workplace, whereas now it's very much more seen as an investment in the person. Emma points out that it's not up to the individual to have to fix themselves.
A destabilising feeling
During the perimenopause, women’s confidence can be knocked because they can feel as though they don't have any control over what's happening - and that can be incredibly destabilising.
Emma points out that “If your body is doing something that you can't explain, then what happens is that you start to not be able to trust where you're at. During perimenopause there's quite often a significant amount of unexplained anxiety and an unsettling sense of fear. You might feel constantly under some sort of threat.
There’s a small part of our brains called the amygdala inside our temporal lobe and it plays an important role in regulating our emotions including fear, aggression and anxiety.
When you become overly anxious for significant periods of time, your amygdala physically enlarges so you can become more hypervigilant to the idea that something might happen, or something might go wrong that you can't control.”
And you will find it hard to feel confident at work when you feel fearful.
I’ll give you a real-life example of mine. At work all I had to do was organise a welcoming party at my head office for the finale of a charity cycle ride. In my twenties this would have been a breeze for me! Apart from keeping an eye on the time to make sure the cyclists didn’t arrive to an empty finish line, there should have been little stress. But now at the age of 50, I was gripped by irrational fear in the middle of the night that I would mess it up. Being more ‘on show’ than in my usual role of being at my desk was a challenge. Even after the event, I dreamt there was something crucial I had forgotten to do.
It doesn’t bear thinking about if I had to be a woman in the public eye who really has to be on it – such as a live TV or radio presenter or an MP – during the menopause.
Strategies at work for menopausal women
At this stage in the article, we probably need some good news! The good news is, if you get some strategies in place specifically for the challenges you start to face during the perimenopause and menopause, then you can continue to work and manage yourself.
During menopause strategy coaching, a range of practical coping strategies will be recommended. Support around stress management, time management, confidence, concentration and organisation skills that may have been impacted by menopausal symptoms will be given. Emma Wee and the team of Posturite coaches have a creative approach to working with clients - tapping into new ways of working that are specific and flexible to the needs of each person.
Talking of individuality, remember also that perimenopause and menopause can affect people at a wide range of ages, and that it can be experienced by trans women too.
Employers are deciding that this menopause coaching is a good idea to enhance productivity – as well as fulfil their duty of care to their employees.
There is also excellent free advice on The Menopause Charity website. They encourage us to #OwnYourMenopause and I recommend their collection of ‘stories’ and experiences shared by people - including Nina who has set up a Black Women In Menopause group:
“A lack of information leaves people unsupported during the menopause. I’ve been piecing together the jigsaw pieces for myself, and it’s now evident that those pieces were spelling the word ‘menopause’. We collectively need to dismantle the unhelpful stigma that surrounds menopause, so that it’s no longer taboo. Then we can let all people know that it’s okay to talk about it, and our education can begin.”
Getting that confidence back
So my confidence nosedive analogy from the title of this article should actually be seen as a dip. If you experience a dip in confidence, seek out the support you need to enable your climb back up.
Watch next:
The Posturite webinar: ‘4 million employees experiencing menopause: let’s talk’
Read next:
